under construction

watch this space

strangers

when two ppl no longer understand each other
communicate with each other
compromise with each other
they become strangers

"the heart knoweth his own bitterness;
and a stranger doth not
intermeddle with his joy"

only the people you love
have the ability to hurt you.

lost songs

last night,
i happily deleted all my songs in limewire shared files
cuz i thot they were in my itunes already
so to avoid the police arresting me
i deleted them
and was happy that mach's bowels are cleaner

today,
i turned on itunes to play my songs
it started to skip the tracks that i ripped from the net
it only played those i got from CDs

i was thoroughly upset
spoke to Iced CM abt it
cuz she's the IT guru
and she,being the sweet dear
offered to let me sync mach to her ipod (which is nameless by the way)
so that i can have 1000 over songs
happiness
now mach's gonna grow fat

height of passion

what does it mean to love?

"once you've reached that height of passion,
you can't help but feel
you don't want to settle for any less"

and even if you did,
would you continue that search?
would you cling on to what you know will soon
fade away?
only because you loved...

no greater love than this

bible study msg:
noah's ark landed on mount ararat,
ararat means the curse is reversed!
in the jewish calender,
this happened on the 17th day of the 7th month
the same day, about 2000 yrs later,
Jesus rose again from the dead
and because He rose again,
the curse is reversed!
my depression is a curse
and IT IS REVERSED!

caregroup msg:
i am God's beloved
only when i know that i am God's beloved
then can i expect good things in my life
i have forgotten how much God loves me
forgotten how much He did for me
now i remember.

today's msg:
his son left him like i left my Daddy
but instead of punishing him or abandoning him
he ran to him, gave him the best robes and killed the fatted calf for him
my Daddy runs to me, gives me His riches and killed Jesus for me.
He still loves me.

every msg this week was as if God is reminding me again and again
that He still loves me, that i should turn to Him
not run away from Him
that He wants to embrace me
not hurt me
that He is my friend
not my enemy

There is no greater love than this.

Iced tall vanilla latte told me today
"give me back the pam i used to know ok?
she was happy, funny, hopeful, my support, joy, love, encouragement"
i said ok.

quizas

eggs deliberately ignored me today
although she has nothing against me
or not that im supposed to know
she has no right to
but i let her
because i am helpless
im guessing it's because of iced tall vanilla latte
but i don't know for what reason
and i don't want to know
apart from blaming myself
i blame her
i wish she didn't do what she did
then perhaps iced tall vanilla latte and i would be happy
but mostly it is my fault
she's the catalyst

bittersweet

everything's bittersweet
our season just ended
third placing and really happy
but somehow the feeling is bittersweet
like how we won't spend as much time together anymore
and i don't know what to expect from next year's ivp
there'll definitely be more and better players
maybe the mix in the team will be different
maybe i won't play again
but this moment remains
forever
thanks guys for making this happen the way it has

iced tall vanilla latte,
i still love you the most
with all of my heart
enjoyed "closer" moment today