Black Russian

sunlight seeps through the window panes
wipes itself across your face
i breathe you in
kiss your cheek
and watch as your lids part
and your smile greets
my lips find their way to your ear and whisper
'good morning, dear'

the sheets ruffle
to find its form around our legs
wanting to chain us to the very pleasure we both yearn
face to face,body to body
but soul kept away from soul
reminding us of the force that keeps us apart

you sit up and face away
reach for yesterday's shirt
i wrap my arms around your waist
now,only offering your back for a goodbye kiss
i accept it anyway
and say
'please stay'
and just as i expected,mechanical but true
'ive got to go,
i love you'
for black russian
which i also consider a coffee drink because there's kahlua in it.

my favourite dessert

found out who my anonymous tagger is
so we met up for pavlovas.

night out

mystery friend at alley bar

can u see the light under my armpits?

on mini girly bike.
after which,mystery friend got abducted by muds.

love-d

once,summer nights,perfumed by rain
would tease love's syntax from her lips
like a single thread from out the skein
a breath caught deep,between the sips
but her silence now does love oppugn
and the slighted heart down cast
stark midnight geese correct the moon
and each kiss brings us closer to the last.

rain falls in exclamation marks
but nothing more may i promise her.
love's ardour is set,in the fading dark
like mercury in a cold thermometer.

now love's present can no longer be
with the addition of just one letter- 'd'
taken off some art magazine

too late

phone rings
no answer
phone rings
no answer
phone rings
hello
hey..urm..how come u didnt reply my msg?
sorry didnt see it
oh.urm..can we be friends?
no
why?
uh..i dont want to be

phone rings
hello
hey...this is ***
oh.hey...
i saw u with *** the other day.are u guys together?
no
oh ok.is there anything going on?
i think so
i still love u
silence
is there any possibility of us being together again?
uh..no.
what if i hadnt been so hostile last december,would things have been different?
yes
so im too late?
uh..ya.

contemplate
hold back
contemplate
hod back
contemplate
phone rings
hey...
hey...how are u and ***?
we're fine.we still argue but we're fine.
what if i told u i still love u?am i too late?
...
for mocha

princess dreams

when i was a little girl
i had princess dreams...
i wanted to be a teacher
i would put all my toys in a row,named them
gave them homework,did them myself,n marked them.
the score my "students" would get would depend on how cute they were
or how much i loved them.
i wanted to be a ballet dancer
like anna pavlova
i wanted to live in a 100 storey house
i would write out in my little notebook what each storey would have
the top floor would ALWAYS be the swimming pool.
the other 99 levels would be divided among my 30 stuffed toys.
in my mind,my prince charming would look exactly like batman
we would get married in a castle (probably 100 storeys)
and live happily ever after

but i lived n i learnt that princess dreams dont come true...
i relief- taught for one month
and the students aint like my toys.
they ask for my number
and get charmy with me.
i gave up ballet after grade 8
and im playing and loving rugby now.
pavlova has become my favourite dessert.
the closest to my 100 storey house is the Westin Stamford at 70 storeys
i guess i'll be content with an apartment,maybe in orchard
overlooking the busy streets n pretty night lights
and i just found out that batman has no super powers
he's just this rich fella with money to make gadgets
which aint too bad if u come to think of it.

lovepuke

yesterday,my mom n i peeked into wuzzy's cage
and she was sleeping on her back
her hands together
and her legs together
then suddenly
her mouth started to move in occasional spasms
i looked at my mom and said
she's sleep talking
then it reminded me of Dory in Finding Nemo
"the sea monkeys took my money"
"yea,i'm a natural blue..."

watched LOVEPUKE on sunday
and i loved it
it portrayed the emotions of two people of the opposite sex
from courtship to marriage
in such clear, honest expressions
the way the play was exposed was also unconventional
in that the emotions were vocalised instead of felt,
which usually leaves room for the audience to speculate
yet,in all it's honesty,it was light-hearted
easy to comprehend and relate to.
i love janice koh
she rocks man
sexy,cool,confident,funny and full of style
a must watch!

the new era

today marks the beginning of a new era in my life
im really excited about what Daddy has in store for me
some words spoken to me over the last week
were words of life
this verse kept springing up in my head
"...being confident of this very thing,that He who has begun
a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ"

then i look at my life and i realised how much my Daddy loves me
and how much i dont deserve what He has given to me.
in this camp,i did not receive what most would call deep revelation
what i did receive is the most fundamental of the Christian doctrine,
the very reason we exist and the only adjective by which we describe my Daddy:
love
and love never fails
my Daddy never fails
never did,never will

dbl espresso bought me a white adidas visor
hee

BenGen Camp

this is the nana sisterhood

preparing for jap night

threshold is two glasses

not paying attention during service

for you

and it may take some time to patch me up inside
but i cant take it so i run away and hide
and i may find in time that u were always right,ure always right.

so u sailed away,into a grey sky morning
now im here to stay,love can be so boring

what was it u wanted?could it be im haunted?

but it's not so bad,ure only the best i ever had
i dont want u back,ure just the best i ever had

letting go

im excited about church camp!
and im determined to put on a little bit of weight
(at the right places of course
i.e. boobs and butt,altho some claim i'll tip over)
and my church's camps are good for putting on weight.
buffets trailing after buffets
plus room service
and a great team of eating friends;they are called the nanas (waves)
who will stick by you from breakfast to supper,starters to desserts!

i was on the bus home just now n just playing the oc in my head
(so i was bored ok?)
and this particular scene with theresa talking to ryan flashed in my head
she said something to the extent of it hurt marissa to let ryan go
but she let him leave with theresa anyway
because he was responsible for impreganating her.
this is the cliche saying, "if u love the person let him/her go"
well,i think it is humanly possible
as in,people have let their partners leave with others
but sometimes,u let go not cuz u love the person...

slowly but surely

have u ever had moments when
everything around u is a mess
ur life is all screwed up
u wanna start anew
suicide crosses your mind
but u shove it aside
then u think, vodka + panadol will be painless
but u shove it aside
ur tears wont stop rolling down
even though you tilt ur head upwards
u dig into the fridge for chocolates
n gorge them down
but the tears wont stop n everything is still a chaos
n u feel stupid for feeling like this n suicide crosses ur mind again...
then the phone rings
n u pick it up
n with a simple hello
the chaos stands still,
the tears stop rolling
suicide scurries away
ur life suddenly seems perfect
n u couldnt ask for more
n a smile slowly but surely,creeps onto ur face.
n u hear "everything's gonna be alright"
n u know it's true.
thank you dbl espresso.
this is you.