today I had thoughts on giving up; like running a marathon and allowing flashes on stopping to walk.I've never walked, though I'm not in any place to boast since the furthest I've ran is 10km. But I've never walked. walking is defeat, it's resignation, it's giving up.

But today,unlike other days, I was tired. my body stiff, my mind a useless blank,my soul light.While life is short, it is very long and I'm already tired.

So this weekend is pamper-pam weekend.rejuvenation is key,motivation is a by-product.screw those who scorn at 'splurgers'.how often are we nice to ourselves.how often are people nice to us.

fading...

Rain

Not so hot as this for a hundred years.
You were where I was going. I was in tears.
I surrendered my heart to the judgement of my peers.

A century's heat in the garden, fierce as love.
You returned on the day I had to leave.
I mimed the full, rich, busy life i had to live.

Hotter than hell. I burned for you day and night;
got bits of your body wrong, bits of it right,
in the huge mouth of the dark, in the bite of the light.

I planted a rose, burnt orange, the colour of flame,
gave it the last of the water, gave it your name.
It flared back at the sun in a perfect rhyme.

Then the rain came, like stammered kisses at first
on the back of my neck. I unfurled my fist
for the rain to caress with its lips. I turned up my face,

and water flooded my mouth, baptised my head,
and the rainclouds gathered like midnight overhead,
and the rain came down like a lover comes to a bed.

Carol Ann Duffy

blissfully heading nowhere

there's something beautifully intriguing about stairs; the mystery of what lies above or below, eagerly hoping to find what you hoped to find, anticipating the end yet, not wanting to arrive at it.

stairs.
i want them all around just like books.





via stair porn

thoughts on quitting

there's still that part of me that fantasizes about being buried by books...

you & me, here ok?

happiness is an espresso con pana

http://www.happinessimages.blogspot.com

Dear Miaoster,
you're the only cat i'll ever love. how you wait for me nightly, i'll remember. you'd spring to your feet excitedly. oh miaoster, why did you disappear? for so long, the prints on your fur i remember so clear. did i not make you happy too, my dear miaoster? when the worms infested the void deck, i feared that you miaoster, would be infected. and the food went untouched, the water bowl was full, my miaoster, i was so worried for you. but now that you're back, my ball of fur, miaoster, please don't disappear ever, forever.

i love you,
fat cat